Maybe it is just me, I don't seem to see many other moms struggling with this. Today was the last day of this school year and no matter how hard I tried... I cried. I cry on the first day, I cry meeting the teachers, I cry saying good-bye... I just cry. I know to wear my dark sunglasses for these first and last days of school. I try distracting my thoughts to prevent the tears, yet, no luck, I just cry. It is not like I am a young new mom sending her first child to Kindergarten. I did that 22 years ago, and I cried. The tears just well up and my eyes are so full of tears I cannot see straight. If I have to speak more than a few words, oh no, here they come, the tears start to pour out and there is no stopping them. I have to get outside where I can just let myself have a good cry and then I am fine. I have learned upon meeting a new teacher to just tell her in the first few seconds we meet, "Don't mind me, I just cry on the first day of school" It does seem to take the edge of the huge dam of tears that is ready to burst. I love for school to be out for summer, I love to have my children home and to have a break in the daily routine of school, yet when the summer is winding down, I am ready for the children to return to school and for the routine to begin. When I analyze (which I have done for years) the reason for the tears, it is not that I can't let my children go or that I don't want them to be home. I think I just cry at milestone events. School beginnings and endings are milestone events in a child's life. If I want to think deeper, sometimes I think the new school years and the good-byes are all too familiar reminders of all the moving schools I had to do as my family trekked across the USA while I was a child. I changed schools and homes often and had to keep my tears in.
Truth be known, I am a just a crier, whatever the motivation, I am just a crier.
For now, I will enjoy a summer break with my children. No tears until August!
2 comments:
Little c had two teachers who were so wonderful and so good to her that it's difficult for me to see them now and not get choked up. If you have a good teacher for your kid, I think part of this for me anyway is just gratitude.. they have done something for my child that I could not have done. Hilary Clinton bugs me but, she I think she was right about "It takes a village...." I am so grateful to live in a great place with so much help in the way of good teachers and church leaders etc. influencing my child in positive ways. That's why I cry.. and because she's growing up way too fast for my liking.
i used to teach middle school, and i nearly lost it when my kids graduate. even now that i teach every semester a different crop (i'm a TA at UF), i still get a little nostalgic on the last day.
you're just one of us! :)
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